Eggs
by Startix-Master of the NoLess
Summary: A delightful tale of love, eggs and a shirtless pottymouth.


**Disclaimer**

Naruto =/= mine.

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><p>Hidan grumbled to himself as he trudged through the streets of a large shopping district, lugging several bags of groceries. Why it always fell on him to purchase provisions for the Akatsuki was a mystery.<p>

To everyone, of course, but Hidan himself.

The Jashinist seemed to have forgotten (or was blissfully unaware) that he was, what many called, 'sex on legs'. With his natural pretty-boy features, bad-boy attitude and the fact that he walked around half-naked all the damn time, Kakuzu was right on the money (pun intended) when he petitioned the sailor-mouth for shopping, knowing full well how cheaply he could get things because of his dashing good looks.

The white-hair fished the abnormally large shopping list from his pants, looking at the numerous items crossed off. Only one remained.

Eggs.

Hidan HATED eggs with a fiery passion; one that could rival his hatred of Kakuzu. They raised your cholesterol, took too fucking long to cook and didn't exactly come from a…desirable place.

But the Leader LOVED eggs.

A LOT.

Spying a small stand with several chickens penned in a nearby coup, Hidan strode over, hissing in pain as the straps of the bags dug into his bare shoulders.

As he got to the vendor, he noticed a frail girl milling around, tending to the fowl.

"Oi!" he yelled, setting down the bags. "You sell eggs here or what?"

Jumping at the raucous voice, she whipped around, face suddenly turning flaming red as she noticed the scowling Adonis before her.

Impatiently, he drummed his fingers on the stand. "Well?"

"O-oh, um, y-yes!" she squeaked, brushing her dark hair from her face with her pale hand. "H-how many do you need?"

He paused, then pulled out the list, scanning it over quickly.

"Four dozen." he replied.

She nodded, scurrying away to the back of the store.

A few minutes later, she returned with four cartons of eggs, with 1 dozen in each.

"Here you go." she said, a big smile on her face.

Hidan stuffed three into a bag and finding no more room, held the last in his arm. "Thanks," he muttered, pulling out his wallet containing the grocery money. "How much for 'em?"

"Oh, th-they're free."

Pausing to give the girl a bewildered look, he slowly put away the wallet. "You fucking serious?"

She nodded, silver eyes twinkling.

Hidan's face broke into a rare smile. "Hey, thanks, kid. You're alright."

Giving the girl a wink that sent her into giggles, he trudged away, whistling a hymn to himself.

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><p>"Here's your shit." snarled Hidan as he dumped the bags on the kitchen countertop, where the members attacked feverishly.<p>

"Awesome, un!" squealed Deidara, holding up his box of Cocoa Frosted Flakes and carton of soy milk. "Hidan, you're the best!"

"Yeah, whatever." he replied, flopping down into the couch with a sigh, fanning himself with a nearby magazine.

Tobi dived into the bags, popping back up with a loaf of French bread. "Yay! Thank you, Hidan!"

Sasori smiled wide as he took out his boxes of Fruit Roll-ups and Fruit-by-the-Foot.

Kisame's eyes lit up as he took his boxes of shu-mai and cups of instant ramen. "Thanks a bunch, God-boy."

"You're very fucking welcome. There was this blonde brat that nearly tore my goddamn head off when I bought the ramen. Little fucker bit me." He held up his hand to show the large wound that looked as though its administrator was part fox.

Konan allowed herself a small smile as she hugged her package of Chunky Chips Ahoy! to her chest.

Kakuzu frowned as he looked over his five boxes of Swanson TV dinners. "Hidan, these are expired."

"You wanted your shit cheap, you got it."

He merely grumbled and walked over to the microwave, tearing open a Salisbury steak and mashed potatoes.

Zetsu gave Hidan an appreciative nod as he climbed up the stairs to his room, packs of sunflower seeds in hand.

Itachi said nothing but was inwardly having a party as he clutched his bag of mini Reese's peanut butter cups.

The Leader's hawkish eyes rolled over the bags, a scowl forming on his face.

"Where are my eggs." he asked stonily.

Hidan pointed at the cartons just to the right of Leader. He moved to get them when something caught his eye.

A small slip of paper was tucked in a carton, innocent as can be.

"What is this?" he said, staring at the paper.

Hissing angrily, Hidan got up and stomped over to where the Leader was looking, narrowed eyes spotting the paper. Quick as a wink, he snatched it up and opened it. What he saw made his eyes widen.

_Megumi  
>(756)-294-8803<em>

Instead of a dot over the 'I', there was a small, perfectly drawn heart.

"Well?" said the Leader, stowing his beloved eggs away in the fridge.

A pause, then…

"Nothing." said Hidan, folding up the paper, stowing it in his pocket as his cheeks tinged pink. "Just the receipt."

Maybe eggs weren't so bad after all.

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><p>Into every life a little sun must shine~<p> 


End file.
